Language barriers can turn a promising au pair placement into a frustrating mismatch within weeks. Communication ability isn't just about fluency—it's about finding someone who can handle emergencies, follow instructions, and bond with your family. This guide walks you through evaluating an au pair candidate's real communication skills before you commit.
Why Language Skills Matter More Than You Think
An au pair with weak communication abilities creates invisible costs: misunderstood childcare instructions, difficulty resolving conflicts with host families, and stress for the children who need clear directions and emotional support. Even a fluent speaker might struggle with colloquial parenting language or regional accents. The stakes are highest in households with young children, special needs, or non-English-speaking parents hiring an English-speaking au pair (or vice versa).
Assessing Written Communication
Start by reviewing how candidates write in their application materials and initial emails. Look for these markers:
- Clarity: Can they explain their experience in logical, easy-to-follow sentences?
- Grammar and spelling: Mistakes don't disqualify someone, but patterns of carelessness suggest they won't read safety instructions carefully.
- Responsiveness: Do they answer your actual questions, or give generic responses?
Ask candidates to describe a specific childcare scenario or conflict they've handled. Their written response reveals whether they can think through problems and articulate solutions—critical skills when you're not present.
Phone and Video Interviews: The Real Test
Video calls expose what emails hide. Aim for a 20–30 minute call focused on practical scenarios, not just small talk.
Listen for:
- How quickly they understand your questions
- Whether they ask clarifying questions back
- How they handle a slightly awkward moment (like a connection pause)
- Vocabulary range—can they discuss household routines, emotions, and safety?
Many placement agencies include a video interview as standard, but if you're sourcing independently, schedule this yourself. Pay attention to accent strength and speech pace. A thick accent paired with fast talking is a red flag for households with young children who benefit from clear, slow-paced instructions.
Reference Calls: Ask the Right Questions
Previous host families provide the most honest assessment. Don't just ask "Was she reliable?" Instead, ask:
- "How did she handle situations when she didn't understand instructions?"
- "Did she communicate problems with the children or household to you quickly?"
- "Were there any language misunderstandings that caused issues?"
- "Could she manage conversations with your pediatrician or extended family?"
If a reference hesitates or gives vague answers about communication, dig deeper. That's often a sign of real problems.
Language Testing and Certifications
If communication is critical for your family, request evidence of language proficiency. Common frameworks include:
- TOEFL/IELTS (English language exams): Scores below 5.5–6.0 suggest conversational gaps
- Cambridge English qualifications: More granular than standardized tests; B1 (Intermediate) is a realistic baseline for au pairs
- In-house agency assessments: Reputable placement services conduct their own speaking evaluations—ask for results
Don't assume a certification guarantees comfort with childcare language. A au pair might score well on formal English but struggle with "Can you grab his rain jacket?" or understanding "He's being fussy about bedtime."
Red Flags and Deal-Breakers
Pause placement if you notice:
- Candidate avoids or cancels video interviews
- They respond to serious questions with jokes or deflection
- References mention miscommunication about safety or schedules
- They claim fluency but stumble on basic household vocabulary during calls
- Previous families note the au pair didn't report problems promptly
Setting Expectations Upfront
Before hiring, clarify your communication needs in writing. Specify:
- Weekly check-in calls or meetings where you discuss the children's week
- How they should report emergencies (phone call, not text)
- Whether they'll attend local language classes to improve
- Access to translation apps or resources for household vocab
Mercoly helps you compare and evaluate au pair placement providers—many offer language assessments and pre-screened candidates—making it easier to find matches with verified communication skills.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What's the minimum English proficiency level I should accept? A: Aim for CEFR B1 (Intermediate) or equivalent, which covers basic conversation, instruction-following, and emergency communication. For families with young children or special needs, B2 (Upper Intermediate) reduces misunderstanding risks significantly.
Q: Should I hire an au pair who speaks my native language instead? A: Bilingual au pairs are valuable for heritage language exposure, but don't assume it solves communication problems—accent, accent, education level, and professional vocabulary still matter. The best candidates are bilingual and articulate.
Q: Can an au pair improve their English during the placement? A: Yes, most au pairs gain confidence and vocabulary within 2–3 months in an immersive environment. However, don't hire someone with weak baseline skills assuming they'll catch up—start with a candidate you can communicate with safely from day one.
Use these evaluation steps to find an au pair whose communication skills actually match your family's needs.