Hiring a full-time nanny is one of the biggest decisions you'll make as a parent—and the wrong hire can derail your family's entire routine. Reference checks aren't optional paperwork; they're your primary defense against discovering problems after a nanny has already settled into your home. Getting this step right takes time, but it's time that protects your children.
How Many References Should You Request?
Aim for at least three professional references from previous families who employed the nanny for full-time care. One reference isn't enough—it could be a close friend doing you a favor. Two references might both come from the same family or social circle. Three gives you a realistic picture across different household situations and personalities.
If a candidate has been full-time nannying for 5+ years, you should expect a minimum of two references from families where they worked for at least 12 consecutive months. Recent entrants to full-time nanny work might offer one long-term reference plus references from childcare education programs or related positions.
Don't accept "I'll provide references after you hire me." Legitimate candidates have references ready to share during the interview process.
What Questions to Ask Previous Employers
Your reference calls should be structured and specific. Here's what matters:
- How long did the nanny work for your family, and in what capacity? (Confirms timeline and role; flags if they're exaggerating experience)
- What ages were your children, and how did the nanny handle their developmental needs? (Tests whether they've actually cared for your children's age group)
- Describe a challenging situation and how the nanny handled it. (Reveals problem-solving and temperament under stress)
- Were there any safety concerns, missed days, or reliability issues? (Direct question about dependability)
- How did the nanny communicate with you about your child's day? (Full-time nannies should provide meaningful updates—not just "he ate and napped")
- Would you rehire them, and why or why not? (Gets at the heart of their recommendation)
- What's one thing this nanny does exceptionally well? (Identifies genuine strengths)
- Is there anything you wish had been different about working together? (Opens the door for honest constructive criticism)
Skip vague questions like "Were they a good nanny?" Instead, ask about concrete behaviors and specific scenarios.
Red Flags During Reference Checks
Listen carefully for hesitation, vague answers, or overly scripted responses. A reference who struggles to recall specific examples about someone they employed full-time for a year should raise concern.
Watch for references who seem reluctant to elaborate, speak slowly when asked direct questions, or qualify everything with "I think" and "maybe." These are signs the reference might not be genuine or might be protecting someone they feel obligated to.
Also be wary if multiple references use nearly identical language to describe the nanny. It suggests the candidate coached them on what to say.
Verify It's Actually Them
Before you invest 20 minutes in a phone call, confirm you're calling the right person. Ask for references by full name and phone number, then verify the phone number independently—don't rely on the number the candidate provides. A quick Google search or LinkedIn check can confirm they were actually a parent in that household during the stated timeframe.
For full-time nannies, some families use nanny placement agencies or background check services like Care.com, Bambino, or Sittercity. You can ask whether the previous employer used a similar service and request permission to pull their review from that platform.
Timing and Documentation
Call references during normal business hours—evenings and weekends won't work for working parents. Plan to spend 15–20 minutes per call.
Take notes during each call. Write down specific examples and direct quotes. This matters later if you're deciding between two candidates or if issues emerge after hire.
If you're using Mercoly to compare and find trusted full-time nanny providers, you can cross-reference candidate profiles with reference information to make a more informed choice.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Can I use references from babysitting or part-time nannying work if the candidate is new to full-time employment? References from structured caregiving roles (preschools, part-time nannying, au pair work) are acceptable for demonstrating child-care ability, but try to prioritize at least one reference from someone who saw the nanny work in a full-time capacity for 6+ months.
Q: What if a candidate says their last employer won't give them a reference? This is a legitimate concern only in specific situations—recent departure due to family relocation, or a documented conflict. For full-time nannies, you should have references ready from at least one long-term employer. If they can't provide them, move on.
Q: Should I do a video call reference instead of a phone call? Phone calls work fine, but video adds an extra layer of authenticity when verifying the person is actually who they claim to be.
Start reference calls before narrowing down your final candidate—it'll make your decision clearer.