Hiring household staff—whether a housekeeper, estate manager, or nanny—means welcoming someone into your home and trusting them with your family and possessions. A thorough reference check is the single most important step between a promising candidate and a costly hiring mistake.
Why References Matter for Household Staff
Unlike office roles, household staff have unsupervised access to your home, valuables, and sometimes vulnerable family members. A glowing interview doesn't reveal whether someone showed up on time consistently, handled confidential information respectfully, or got along with pets and children. References from previous employers expose patterns of behavior and reliability that matter far more than credentials alone.
A 2023 survey of high-net-worth households found that 40% experienced theft or property damage from household staff hired without proper vetting—most of which could have been prevented by a single reference call. The investment in thorough checking now saves thousands in potential loss and stress later.
How to Request and Verify References
Ask for written references first, then follow up with direct calls. Don't rely solely on reference letters provided by the candidate—anyone can coach their references. You need to hear directly from former employers.
When requesting references, ask for at least three:
- The most recent employer (or last 2-3 positions if tenure was short)
- A current employer or client (if the candidate is still working part-time)
- An employer from 3+ years ago (to check for long-term reliability)
Specifically ask for references from people who directly supervised the candidate's work, not colleagues or friends. A household manager or the owner of a previous estate is far more valuable than a general reference.
Key Questions to Ask References
Call, don't email. A phone conversation reveals nuance that written responses miss, and it confirms the reference is real.
Ask these specifics:
- How long did [candidate] work for you, and in what capacity? This confirms their basic story.
- Was the person reliable and punctual? Lateness or no-shows are dealbreakers for household staff.
- How did they handle confidentiality? Household workers see private financial records, health information, and family dynamics. Trust matters enormously.
- What was their relationship like with children/pets/elderly family members? (if relevant to your household)
- Why did they leave, and would you rehire them? A hesitation here is a red flag.
- Did you notice any damage to property or items going missing during their employment? Direct but necessary.
- What were their weaknesses? Listen for evasiveness. A good reference will mention something honest, like "takes a while to learn new systems" rather than "they're perfect."
Document their answers. If a reference praises the candidate glowingly but seems vague on specifics, dig deeper. If they mention concerns about honesty or attendance, take it seriously.
Cross-Check Information
Verify employment dates on the candidate's resume match what references confirm. Gaps or inconsistencies—especially if the candidate avoids explaining them—warrant investigation. Call their listed phone numbers to confirm these are real people and not friends posing as references.
You can also request a background check and criminal history search (with the candidate's written consent). Costs typically range from $25–$60 and take 3–5 business days. This is standard practice and most professional household staff expect it.
For household managers or estate staff, check whether they hold relevant certifications (household management, first aid, food safety). Verify these with the issuing body rather than taking the candidate's word.
Red Flags
- References who are vague, difficult to reach, or ask why you're calling
- Employment gaps the candidate can't explain clearly
- Multiple short stints (under 6 months each) without good reason
- References who mention dishonesty, unreliability, or conflicts with employers
- A candidate who pushes back on background checks or reference calls
If you're hiring household staff through a service like Mercoly, many curated providers on the platform have already been vetted with reference checks and background screening included—saving you time while raising your baseline confidence.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How far back should I check references? Check the most recent 5–10 years of employment, with priority on the last 2–3 positions. If someone left a job under 6 months ago, contact that employer directly.
Q: Should I pay for a third-party background check if references are good? Yes, if the role involves access to valuables, children, or vulnerable adults. The $30–$50 investment protects you far better than references alone.
Q: What if the candidate only has one reference available? Be cautious. Push for at least two independent references from different employers. If they can only provide one, consider it a weakness in their hiring profile and weight other factors (certifications, longer work history) more heavily.
Take your time with this process—good household staff are worth the extra week of checking, and poor hires cost far more in the long run.