Hiring a full-time nanny is one of the biggest childcare decisions you'll make—and one of the most personal. This person will spend 40+ hours weekly with your children, shape their daily routines, and influence their development during critical years. Getting it right requires asking the tough questions upfront, not discovering problems three months in.
What's Your Budget and What Does It Actually Cover?
Full-time nanny salaries vary significantly by location, experience, and responsibilities. In major metropolitan areas like New York or San Francisco, expect $55,000–$75,000+ annually for an experienced nanny; in smaller cities or suburbs, $35,000–$50,000 is more typical. Don't forget to factor in payroll taxes (usually 10–15% on top of salary), workers' compensation insurance, paid time off, and potentially benefits like health insurance contributions if you're offering them.
Ask potential nannies exactly what they expect their compensation to include. Some won't negotiate on salary but are flexible on vacation days. Others want a car allowance or professional development stipends. Get these details in writing before an offer is made.
Does Their Experience Match Your Family's Needs?
A nanny who excels with infants might struggle with school-age children. One who's managed households with multiple kids on rigid schedules may clash with your more flexible approach. Ask specifically about:
- Ages of children they've cared for (and for how long)
- Whether they've handled special needs, allergies, or behavioral challenges
- Their experience with routines, homework help, or extracurricular transportation
- Certifications they hold (CPR, first aid, or specialized training)
Request references from at least two previous employers and actually call them. Ask whether the nanny was reliable, how they handled discipline, and why the family ultimately parted ways. This conversation often reveals more than a resume.
How Do You Handle Authority and Discipline?
Your parenting philosophy might be completely misaligned with how a nanny approaches discipline, screen time, or nutrition. Have an explicit conversation about:
- What discipline methods are off-limits (spanking, yelling, etc.)
- How they'd handle a child refusing to eat dinner or throwing a tantrum
- Their comfort level with technology and screen time limits
- Whether they follow your household rules or expect flexibility
A nanny who believes in strict schedules might resent your ad-hoc approach to bedtime. One accustomed to permissive parenting might undermine your boundaries. These aren't right-or-wrong answers—they're compatibility issues that create friction if unaddressed.
What's Your Backup Plan If They Call Out Sick?
Full-time nannies get sick, have family emergencies, and occasionally need unexpected days off. Before hiring, ask how many sick days they typically take annually and what happens when they're unavailable. Do you have a backup sitter lined up? Can they provide coverage through a nanny agency? What's your plan B for a sudden absence?
Also clarify their vacation schedule expectations. Many full-time nannies expect 2–3 weeks of paid time off. Confirm these details during negotiations so there are no surprises when they announce a planned absence.
How Will You Communicate Day-to-Day?
Will you text updates, use an app like Brightwheel or HiMama, or have end-of-day conversations? Discuss communication frequency and preferred methods. Some families want hourly photo updates; others check in once at pickup. Neither approach is wrong, but mismatched expectations create resentment.
Also establish how you'll address concerns. If your child comes home upset, or the nanny notices behavioral changes, how should that feedback flow? A good nanny will appreciate clear channels for discussing issues rather than them festering.
What's the Trial Period and Termination Process?
Hiring a nanny shouldn't be permanent commitment on day one. Propose a 2–4 week trial period where either party can end the arrangement with minimal notice (or one week's notice). This protects both of you while you assess fit.
Discuss what happens if things aren't working out. Is there a two-week notice requirement? Will you provide severance? What's the process for termination? Having this conversation feels uncomfortable but prevents messy situations later.
Platforms like Mercoly help you compare and find trusted full-time nannies providers in one place, streamlining the search before these deeper conversations begin.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How much should I pay a full-time nanny? Full-time nanny salaries range from $35,000–$75,000+ annually depending on location, experience, and certifications. Research local rates in your area and account for payroll taxes (10–15%) and benefits.
Q: Should I use an agency or hire privately? Agencies handle payroll, background checks, and replacements but charge 15–25% commissions. Private hiring is cheaper but requires you to manage employment taxes and verify credentials yourself.
Q: What certifications should a nanny have? CPR and first aid are standard minimum qualifications. Additional certifications in early childhood education, special needs care, or infant care add value depending on your family's needs.
Start comparing nannies and ask these questions before making your decision.